PAIN

Pain is a signal implemented by your nervous system as a means of alerting you to a problem in your body. The problem could derive from an injury, illness, deterioration of the body, or more complicated health issues. The interesting thing about pain is even if we push our way through, it is impossible to ignore. We can mask it with pain medications or numb our senses with other substances, but eventually, the pain will seep through. Many people have a high pain tolerance and it does not depend on gender. Women have been known to be tougher than their male counterparts when enduring pain. But what about the emotional toll pain places on the psyche of each of us? Pain ultimately limits our ability to function and depending on how chronic or debilitating the pain is, functionality can be affected indefinitely. This is the moment when tolerance can no longer save you. The toughest person will eventually face the reality of limitations and how we adapt and navigate those limitations will ultimately set a tone of emotional wellness or emotional declination. It is in a man's nature to fight through adversity. It is in his nature to adapt and overcome. Men must feel efficient in their ability to protect and provide and when pain and limitations threaten those qualities you will see a man in peril. A good man associates his worth with his abilities, not his limitations. If you show me a man that has limited abilities due to aging or injury, I will show you a man who is suffering on the inside. Acceptance of his lacked capacity is not an option therefore he toils daily to find ways to regain his abilities or adopt new ones. Although he may appear the same externally he is deteriorating on the inside. The limitations have robbed him of his worth and self-esteem. This great man has moved from a provider to someone who requires the care of others. Many men will mask their painful reality with numbing agents. Men would rather isolate themselves than put their weaknesses on display. They would rather use substances so they can complete their responsibilities and tasks just to feel accomplished for that one moment. Some men will move into a "prove it" stage where they take on different tasks that are designed to convince themselves that they still can if they want to. These activities are usually just as detrimental as the pain because if they are successful they delay reality.

If you know a man then it is quite possible that you know a man who is hiding his fear of ineffectiveness in a world that expects so much of him.

I charge you to be aware and be kind. I charge you to be encouraging while allowing him his flashes of brilliance and youth. We laugh at the term "midlife crisis", but I hope this provides a better perspective of the inner battle and depression endured by a man who is less than what he used to be. What can be viewed as a midlife crisis to you can be interpreted as an "end-of-life crisis" for him. #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

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