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Dr. Darren DuBose, Sr

BE HIS PEACE

The phrase is ubiquitous and oft-repeated in relationship circles, but do we really know what it means to “Be His Peace”? Women have been mandated to take on this role if they want to love their men correctly. Many have insinuated that many men step away from relationships due to a failure in the woman’s ability to do this.

Does being his peace mean the woman can never articulate displeasure? Does it mean she must put her problems on the back burner because he needs peace? The answer to both is absolutely not. So, what does it mean?


Being his peace reflects your demeanor and your spirit. Your essence can reflect a tone of calm amid chaos. A peaceful woman is a safe place where the man is free to be vulnerable without the risk of being attacked or hurt while his guard is down. It is also an indication of how optimistic your outlook is.


We must remember that the nature of a good man makes him a “fixer.” He feels like the problems of his friends and loved ones are automatically his problems, and a good man feels uncomfortable leaving issues without a solution.


The amount of pressure that the world places on manhood is not easily quantified. Men are raised to be indestructible and impenetrable machines who repel the harshness and cruelty of the world while simultaneously being the protector and leaders at home.


Therefore, during your daily conversation with your man, if you inundate him with issues, complaints, problems, and disagreements, you have supplied him with a fresh list of things he must fix. You have disrupted his peace.


Everyone knows the story of Sampson and Delilah. Sampson was one of the great Judges who was ultimately responsible for the needs of masses of people and was constantly flooded with requests for his assistance. Sampson did not have a quiet and peaceful place that was void of expectations and needs. He was burdened with feeling as if he was always in superhero mode.


Even while knowing Delilah’s intentions were duplicitous, Sampson continually went to Delilah’s home because he took solace in the fact that she provided a safe place without demands. She simply listened and stroked his head as he unburdened himself. This ought to give you an idea of the lengths a man will go to in a desire to obtain peace. In a twisted way, although Delilah was Sampson’s conspirator, she was his peace.


If peace is unavailable, a man will find it. This is not always found in another woman, but it is often manufactured in an emotional and physical man cave where he can sit quietly and remove himself from the daily demands.


Peace is an encouraging statement, a word of affirmation, a soft touch, or simply an interaction that does not require his assistance.


Be his peace, or you will be the one that drives him towards it.



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