"DRESS HOW YOU WANT TO BE ADDRESSED"

I may be dating myself a bit, but when I was growing up my mother made sure I wore "school clothes " when accompanying her downtown or to any appointments. She also made certain that whenever I left the proximity of our neighborhood that I was appropriately dressed as a representation of her. I was also told that every man should have at least one full suit (tie included) and a pair of dress shoes in his closet.

Now, I am fully aware that it is 2023 and the culture has changed. Today you can find executives wearing suits with tennis shoes and Pastors with Jordans.

In today's society culture has shaped the leaders instead of the leaders shaping the culture.

Many have raged against the machine and decided to refrain from dressing professionally for job interviews, meetings, and even fine dining.

I stand on the premise that you should always dress for your next level, dress as a representation of your upbringing, and most importantly, dress how you want to be addressed.

You may be oblivious, but the majority of people interact with you according to their first impression of you. That first impression is 70% non-verbal which means they have observed you before they ever engage you. If you have made the decision to wear your Jordans and skinny jeans to a job networking event, those who have the power to promote you have already disregarded you. And if you are passing out business cards wearing the same outfit, you may as well collect your business cards from the trash on your way out.

If we regard things as important our wardrobe and demeanor should reflect it.

Why have we destroyed barriers and shattered glass ceilings to show up as if we don't belong?

If you truly believe it's your destiny to be in rooms where deals and decisions are made then you should arrive dressed for the occasion. My motto is "My next boss may be in this room, therefore, I stay ready, so I don't have to get ready."

Ladies, unfortunately, it's more difficult for you. I understand that many of you have amazing "assets" that will be accentuated no matter what outfit you wear, however, there is a difference between "leaving things to our imagination" and "letting it all hang out" for everyone to see. For example, a sundress is a subtle piece of attire that outlines the God-given "blessings" of the female body, but it can be worn respectfully and with style.

If a woman chooses to let her assets bulge out of her top or out the bottom of her shorts, the imagination takes flight and men have instantly categorized her. She has now become a conquest to satisfy his curiosities. She is game or prey and he is the hunter. Let me let you in on a little secret, these "situationships" may be long-lived, but she will never move from the category of his first impression into the category of wife. She dressed a certain way, and she was addressed in kind.

If I am not intimately involved with you, I should have to rely on speculation of your assets not confirmation.

Most women who dress respectfully do not get approached often because they have already given the aura that they are not available for games.

Ladies, also remember that you are a representation of your partner and a display of how well you are loved so dress accordingly on your quick trips for groceries. A man swells with pride when he knows his woman is looking good in public.

Who is to blame for this trend?

Well, it all starts with leadership, fathers can be found bragging about their Jordan collection and their sons follow their lead. Mom dresses for the club as if she is preparing to swing from a pole while her very impressionable daughter watches in the doorway. Pastors have become businessmen and are more interested in attendance than in spreading the word, so they deem their church casual in hopes to draw more people in. Executives fear a litigious society and allow employees to dress "comfortably " and color their hair like cartoon characters.

Again, society and culture have molded leadership instead of leaders molding society. There are so many old ways of thinking that need to be rewound and added to our present culture and our outward presentation is one of them.

Dr. Darren L. DuBose Sr.

I urge you to look around, there are still individuals who dress to impress but you have to be vigilant because most times they are taking an elevator to a floor or going into a conference room where you and your Jordans don't have access.

"Dress how you want to be addressed"

#changedmindschangelives

#bethesunshine