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I'm sure we have heard the quote "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger " to the point of nauseum. However, depending on your mindset (there's that word again) we can find a way to make all setbacks work to our advantage. Adversely, with the wrong approach and wrong mindset, these disruptions methodically add to our demise. We
eventually develop patterns that fuel the processes of self-destruction, self-deprecating,
and self-sabotage.
I would venture to say that the only difference between Self-Mastery and Self-Destruction is the decisions made in moments of adversity.
I would also say that individuals who have embraced and practiced a lifestyle of Self-Mastery are more successful, more positive, and more driven people who inhabit leadership mantles while those wading in the waters of Self-Destruction slowly drown in the rivers of their self-sabotage.
So let's define what Self-Mastery looks like:
1. Denial of Persistent Comfort- it is a human trait to always look for the softest place to land or the most restful existence, however, the incessant expedition toward amenity creates a docility and thereby an unpreparedness for tenuous circumstances. In other words, an individual with self-mastery does not allow themselves to get soft. In fact, they embrace the discomfort as opportunities to grow, learn, and strengthen.
"A man who is unwilling or unable to deny himself the comforts of his flesh deliberately, cannot be trusted during periods of paucity and distress, for it is these men who have become proficient at comfort rather than insufficiency. "
Dr. Darren L. DuBose Sr
2. Refusing to Adopt the Negative Outlook- we all realize bad days and bad moments will come, but what's most important is our reaction to them. Self-Mastery pushes one to find the lesson, create a positive position, or reframe those moments. These individuals not only flip these situations on their heads, but they do it quickly because quite honestly what good does it do to dwell on an obstacle?
3. Always Focused on Self-Improvement- these individuals are never satisfied with their state in life. They will always strive for more knowledge, improved skills, expansive social networks, and influential positions. This is not a result of being ego-driven, it is the result of wanting to add strengths and reduce weaknesses.
4. Remain Goal Oriented- Self-Mastery cannot sit idle because their sights are always focused on a new benchmark. They are self-motivated, and self-starters, and will often find themselves by themself as others fail to keep pace.
5. Will Not Make Excuses- What is the difference between an excuse and an explanation? An explanation is a reason why a task was not successful although it was attempted while an excuse is why the task wasn't attempted at all. Self-Mastery does not leave room for excuses. There is no such thing as being too tired, not having enough time, too hard, too much, etc.
Adversely, those who engage in self-destruction can easily be found with a privileged mindset towards leisure almost as if navigating life ensures them a weekend filled with brain-numbing, mindless activities. These are the individuals that sleep past noon and then sleep again. Self-destructive individuals operate in self-sabotaging patterns.
minimal performance minimal resultsunsatisfactory outcome sadness/depression>minimal performance.
These individuals focus on every single negative aspect of a situation and they sit in it and crumble under the weight of it.
They lose sight of their goals because their goals come with discomfort and are often laborious. These individuals specialize in excuses. These statements make them feel better as they recline, miss deadlines, and ride the merry-go-round of self-sabotage.
As I said in the beginning, the person you become comes down to a decision. Will you decide that comfort trumps success or the comfort that comes with your success will be worth the decision to be uncomfortable?
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