Shaping

Sometimes we fail to appreciate the power of human influence. Studies have shown that infants and young children can read and react to facial expressions, voice tone, posture etc. Many times we disregard our actions around these younger beings but our behaviors are helping to shape their personalities and moral compasses. Before we can ever verbalize boundaries, rules, and expectations they have tapped into our system of behavioral reactions and expectations. This concept is consistent across all relationships in regard to the child. Older siblings, coaches, teachers, friends, family, and media input conjointly effects or shapes this future adult. The concept of social conformity has been proven to be a very powerful force in human decision making. Social conformity or peer pressure gives the brain the feeling of stability as it isthe brain's priority to seek comfort, synchronization, and safety. So, from a very early phase of development we are fighting forces in order to shape our children in the manner we desire.

I wonder if we had previously considered all these factors if many of us would have conceived children so frivolously.

Social conformity has become the norm. Authenticity has become such an outdated concept and much more difficult to uphold as the world seeks to be immersed in every trend and social media challenge. The positive aspect of social conformity is that if we weave ourselves into positive and progressive crowds then we will be influenced to be more progressive ourselves.

It is just as important in adulthood to be open to shaping as it is during our early development. As adults we tend to get stagnant as we rage against the machine and take the stance that we aren't changing for anyone. This proves to be our biggest mistake and the true hindrance to our growth and success. With the many challenges of adulthood, perpetual learning and renewal seems absolutely necessary. In a world that is advancing at the speed of light, we will be left behind if we depend on our abbreviated knowledge. This knowledge usually comes as the result of social connections to other people.

The military has shown us that we can run further and faster and do more with the help of a community mindset. Within any platoon there are people that are stronger than you which gives you a goal to strive toward. There are also those that are weaker who look to you as the motivator. However , the significant dynamic is the desire that everyone arrives at the same time.

If we approach life in this manner we will discover that we are never finished learning. We can still be shaped.

What we often do is operate in a silo mentality where we only socialize with those who accept us without challenging us. I dare say we hang around those we are equal or superior to, so we are always in the position to teach but never to learn.

Those who accept us as we are often accept our poor decisions. Love does not mean you shouldn't tell me I'm fat or allow me to continually alter my body without atleast telling me I'm beautiful just as I am.

If you love me as I am, do you truly love me?

Love me enough to push me toward my potential unapologetically. Confront my laziness, my insensitivity, and my anger because you want to see me do better. Love me into the best version of myself.

Authentic romantic relationships are integral in our continual shaping. Our partner sees our blind spots and can challenge us with love. The person who spends the most time with you can easily identify shortcomings and challenge you to change them.

Are you ready to be shaped?

Integrate yourself into crowds that are uncomfortable, places where you aren't the smartest or most successful person in the room

Find a "truth teller." Befriend someone who will tell you that you are wrong. Give this person permission to give you critical feedback.

Acquire knowledge that isn't assigned by your job or school. Seek material that challenges your view of yourself and your behaviors. Challenge yourself by learning something new.

Embrace some form of spiritual guidance regularly. Whatever your beliefs are, find a resource to feed you in that area.

Ask people about their journey to success. Sometimes people have traversed paths so we can follow in their footsteps.

Listen more than you speak. You can learn something from everyone and a day should not go by without learning something new.

Stop placing yourself into crowds that you know dumb you down. I'd rather be alone than amongst fools. Learn the power of "no."

Remember, bad company corrupts good morals. Be open to being continually shaped and open to learning.

#changedmindschangelives

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