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Good Morning, as we continue on this journey of changing our mindset and thereby changing our lives, I have a simple message. We need to tell ourselves to SHUT UP!
I know that doesn’t sound therapeutic or soft like a new puppy, but it’s true! Our inner voice or what we say to ourselves, many times, has already defeated us before our feet ever hit the floor. We act in a form of prestidigitation as we predict what has happened, what has been perceived, what will happen, what we can't do, but most importantly, what they think about us.
“So now we have taken our inner detraction and combined it with a perceived detraction of others leaving ourselves frozen in a cacophony of auditory injury”
This is why we are so exhausted before we ever leave the house.
First, we have convinced ourselves that we are an imposter.
Then we have convinced ourselves that they think we are an imposter.
We have conjured all of this up without any outward verbal exchange with anyone, this is the result of inner verbal dialogue.
We use the same system when looking outwardly at the situation of others.
Does any of this sound familiar?
“Their relationship is so close because I see them hold hands all the time”, yet we don't realize for that couple, holding hands is habitual and they sleep in separate beds at night.
"She looks so lonely without a man in her life", yet we are totally unaware that she is living her best life because she has taken care of others for decades and is simply learning to love herself.
“You see, my grass isn't greener than my neighbor's grass, he simply doesn’t have the liberty to stand in my grass and see the diseased bald spots that I fight with daily.”
“An outward perspective that lacks internal knowledge of an intricate situation creates a false definition”
In other words, you just do not know what is going on outside of your purview.
SHUT UP!
We complain about how social media poisons the mind of our children while we sit back and poison our own minds on a daily basis.
Allow me to let you in on a little secret, the basis of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in its simplest form is reframing negative thoughts or challenging learned negativity. Yes, that’s correct many of you will be paying to learn this from me or other therapists when you can simply train yourself to do it for free.
I am quite aware that some of you will not receive, retain, or practice this because of your transgenerational traits. In other words, it runs in the family, but someone has to break the cycle.
It was this very cycle that made the mental aspect of slavery so effective. An entire race of people were convinced that they were second-class citizens because they lacked intelligence and strength. While the entire time they outnumbered their captors, they had become active collaborators in their depreciation and had no will to rebel as they started believing the negative inner voices.
I finally had to tell myself to SHUT UP. I had convinced myself that I was always there for others but they never show up for me. Well, my face was on the floor when I realized that sometimes all it takes is an invitation. If I had continued to listen to my negative inner voices I would have never been totally filled with the warmth caused by the presence of those that chose to celebrate me.
So please today SIT all the way down and SHUT ALL THE WAY UP!
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