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The word "fan" which is an abbreviated version of fanatic is defined as a person with an obsessive interest in and an enthusiasm for something especially an activity, religion, or political cause. A word that is often used flippantly for sports fans traverses any cause or condition. We often casually joke with and about sports fanatics as we watch their visceral, enthusiastic, and depressing reactions to their team's success or lack thereof. However, we may gloss over the obsession and the violence that stems from one being a fanatic. Research has discovered that heightened indicators of fanaticism in participants has caused them to display aggressive and/or violent actions and a willingness toward extremism and a willingness to join groups that represent their intense views. Research also showed that individuals manifested a threat response that was gauged upon the potency of the opposing opinion. In other words, the intensity of someone with an opposing view equated to the person feeling threatened. The issue is exacerbated when an individual has a diminished sense of self concept. This can derive from socioeconomic status, IQ, upbringing, etc. Research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology indicates that people who feel a lack of autonomy in their lives are more likely to prefer cultures that impose strict order. So, the fanatics and extremists who have pledged an immutable allegiance to a political party, a political personality, a religious leader, or even a musical performer in many cases lacks the intestinal fortitude to be an independent thinker and finds comfort in being controlled. Research has shown that individuals who lack personal control and authenticity were in favor of rewarding those who joined their movement and punishing those who broke from the crowd. In essence they feel that loyalty to their obsession should be celebrated while those that do not agree or hold a different view should be punished. It may not be a popular opinion, but political leaders and religious leaders have mastered the phenomenon of recruiting individuals that want someone to think for them or want to be lead. This has evolved into a cult-like mentality that is enforced by the leader. The danger involved in that is these individuals will often accept whatever is presented to them by their leader as gospel. Many do not realize their exclusive and negative reactions toward those with differing political views, different religious beliefs, or those who choose to separate from the pack. I admittedly have attended a meeting where a religious leader has instructed his leadership to sever communication with a parishioner that has decided to leave the church. We all see the media outlets as they show Donald Trump energizing his fanatical followers to harass and give death threats to prominent Black District Attorneys such as, Fani Willis and Letitia James. The fanatical base of the Buffalo Bills issued death threats to their place kicker after missing a tying field goal in the divisional round of the playoffs. As Hank Aaron closed in on Babe Ruth’s homerun record, he received death threats. Deebo Samuels from the San Francisco 49ers has received death threats and racially derogatory correspondences. Of course, not all fanatics are obsessed, dangerous, or violent, but the concept is something that we you should consider as we navigate our highly volatile society. There are those that still possess passionate opposing views as far as race is concerned and if you are not “woke” enough you will not realize that there is an attempt to return the country to a Jim Crow Era. Remember, that some are pushed toward violence and cruel attacks when encountering someone with a different view. So, do not simply brush off the fact that there may be potential for an aggressive situation at every turn. We are not all enthusiastic about the same things, but we are all enthusiastic about something. #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

PROVERBS 31 WOMAN Proverbs 31:10-31 We return to King Lemuel’s conversation with his mother and focus on an often referred to scripture regarding the Proverbs 31 Woman. Reading scripture using the original Biblical language can make it difficult to give application to our modern circumstances. I will attempt to do that in the following dissection of this amazing passage of scripture. Verse 10: She is more precious than rubies. Although self-explanatory, the scripture suggests that this woman is not easily found. Precious stones are graded by their quality, rarity, aesthetics, and color. Rubies are one of four precious stones, sharing the category with the sapphire, the emerald, and of course, the diamond. The ruby also depicts passion and protection and has several biblical references signifying beauty and wisdom. Takeaway From this we gather that a virtuous woman is rare, protective, wise, beautiful, and highly valued above rubies. Verse 11: Her husband can trust her, and she enriches his life. Takeaway This verse touches upon her trustworthy nature. In a modern sense, a virtuous woman can be trusted with finances, responsibilities, but most of all trusted to protect the integrity of her husband. This brings edification to his existence. Adversely if a woman can not be trusted, the man’s life starts to deteriorate. Have you ever heard a group of women tear down their husbands behind his back or spend finances that stress the household? That woman is not virtuous and is not enriching to anyone’s life. Verse 12: She brings him good and not harm all the days of his life. Takeaway When we love someone, their words represent power. The worst thing a woman ca do is attack the character of their husband. Conflict and disagreements can be healthy, but insults, threats, verbal abuse, and name calling start to erode at the core of a man. Verses 13-15: Represents her industrious and preparatory nature and love for her household. The virtuous woman brings home the bacon and fries it up in a pan. She is not concerned with the confusion of roles. She works to help ensure the success of her home by making sure the supplies are replenished, preparing meals, and planning the schedule of the household. Takeaway A virtuous woman makes sure her house is prepared, her loved ones fed, and she rises early to do so. If you are sleeping in, failing to coordinate the activities of your home, and not preparing meals, you may not be as virtuous as you once thought. Verses 16-22 Takeaway These scriptures continue to highlight the industrious nature of a virtuous woman. She assures her house is prepared for the winter seasons, she has a giving and empathetic spirit toward the poor, and her business dealings are smart and profitable. Verse 22b: She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Takeaway A virtuous woman adorns herself when traveling in public. It is this outward display of beauty that also brings respect to her household. The scripture does not state that she is alluring or craving the attention of others. A virtuous woman knows her worth and knows how she represents her household and therefore holds herself in high regard. Verses 23-27: Takeaway Because of all the verses previously written, it states that her husband is well known in the gates. Because of her industrious nature, preparedness, outward beauty, and caring for the poor, she has given her husband a great name for himself. The positive attention she draws to herself causes one to brag about how blessed her husband is. It goes on to say that she speaks in wisdom, that she is happy and known for her laughter, and does not get anxious about what the future holds because she has worked to secure it. Verses 28-31 Takeaway She is complimented by her husband and children, and they are constantly singing her praises. It outlines a message that is perhaps meant for men as it says beauty will fade and charm can be misleading, but a Godly woman should be respected and praised. a. Are you rare and does the way you carry yourself display your self-worth? b. Can you be trusted with finances, household affairs, and family responsibilities? c.  Are you edifying to your husband and his reputation when he is not in your presence? Do your actions bring him peace? d.  Do you disagree without being disagreeable? Do you avoid insulting, threatening, and belittling your husband? e. Are you a diligent worker? Do you ensure that meals are prepared for your household and that supplies are replenished in preparation for the upcoming hard seasons and hardships? Is your house orderly? f. Do you dress in a manner that shows respect to your husband and does not cause him embarrassment or the attention of other men? · Now ask your husband or future husband to answer these questions about you. Prayer: That the Lord helps to instill the characteristics of a virtuous woman. Ask that your words and actions are always edifying to your husband and your household. Ask that he shows you to adorn yourself in high esteem in action and appearance. #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

Proverbs 31:1-9 Yes, you read that correctly. We often refer to the Proverbs 31 Woman, but many times, we skip over verses 1-9. In the first portion of this oft referred to text there is a charge toward men. King Lemuel's mother speaks to him as a King and reminds him of his charge and his expected behaviors. In summary she says the following: a. Do not waste your time chasing women who can cause your downfall. b. Do not become obsessed with alcohol because it will cause you to easily forget the rules of law. c. Seek to give justice to those who have been oppressed or maligned. d. As a King you should not seek alternative methods to forget your distress because this is a sign of weakness. e. Be a sponsor for those whose opinion is not respected. f. Always protect and provide for those who are poor or helpless. These charges and requirements for men are provided as an antecedent to the Proverbs 31 Woman. It would lead one to believe that one deserves the next or one should not expect the other unless they possess these qualities. So as a man we are called to focus upon pouring our strength out for the purpose of helping others while not engaging in recreational things that may sidetrack us from our call. REFLECTION 1. As a man have you learned to resist the temptation of women who do not share your progressive thoughts? Women, has your man learned to focus upward instead of being drawn away by his own desires? 2. Men have you strengthened yourself to avoid a life of recreation so you can focus upon your goals? Women, is the man in your life correctly balanced, focusing on business before pleasure? 3. Men have you used your strength and influence to help others? Women, has your man displayed a kind, giving, and compassionate spirit? 4. Men, do you face your problems head on instead of finding ways to distract yourself from your pain? Women is the man in your life steadfast and ready to face all adversity? 5. Men, are you a free giver and does your heart feel sorrow for the less fortunate? Women, does the man in your life practice the principles of freely giving of his time, talents, and resources to better those in need? Quite simply, are you a Proverbs 31 Man? Do you have a Proverbs 31 Man? PRAYER Pray for those you love that they may obtain the Proverbs 31 spirit this spirit and to avoid pitfalls that will hinder their upward progress. Also pray for women who may be wasting precious time in a relationship with a man that does not strive for or possess these credentials. If a relationship is looking toward permanency, each person deserves to experience the qualities that are outlined in Proverbs 31. #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

Over the next three weeks come along with me on this journey as we fast and pray for direction in 2024! Joshua 2 In Joshua Chapter 1, Joshua has assumed command from Moses upon his death and it is Josua’s responsibility to lead his people into their land that was previously promised to them by God. Joshua encourages his people to be courageous and strong and assures them that God is with him as He was with Moses. He asks his men to prepare the camp with the appropriate provisions needed for the journey. In Joshua Chapter 2, Joshua sends two spies to perform recon on the city of Jericho. These spies enter the house of Rahab who is described as a prostitute. The spies used Rahab’s home to hide from the King and his men. When the King received the report that Rahab was hiding spies, he commanded her to bring them out. Rahab had already hidden the men in her house and told the King that they had been in her home but had fled before his arrival. Rahab then proceeded to send the men in pursuit of the spies on the road leaving the city. After the army left Rahab told the spies how she had heard of the greatness of their God and the wondrous miracles he had done. She also said that she knows the land that she inhabits is promised to them and they must kill everyone within the limits of her city. She asked if she and her family could be spared because of her kindness in saving their lives. The spies said they would spare her entire family and all she would need to do is to hang a scarlet rope outside her window to ensure her and her family’s safety. As they promised, when the city was attacked Rahab, and her family was spared. It is a common to believe that only certain types of people can have a fear and appreciation for the power of God. Many also believe that we should disregard individuals who are not leading perfect or Godly lives according to their opinions, but this account shows that no matter wherever someone is in their live that they can still have reverence for Godly things and most importantly can still be used by God. The fear of God’s power and the belief that He can supply whatever you need is the catalyst that drives your blessings from God. 1.       Have you ever judged someone by their reputation, and it impeded your ability to get to know who the true person was? 2.       Have you ever been told that because of your lifestyle that you are not worthy of God’s love, or you cannot be used by God? 3.       Think of a time in your life when you allowed the opinion of others to limit what you thought you were able or allowed to do: a.       Vocationally ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ b.      Spiritually ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ c.       Friendships/Relationships ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4.       What was it about Rahab that changed things for her and her family? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Have you misjudged others? Have you misjudged yourself and your worth to God? Have you allowed the opinion of others and the opinion of yourself to limit the belief in what God will do for you? The truth is, we all have. We must stop using our preconceived notions of others to label them as ungodly or unable to be used and blessed by God. We must also do the same for ourselves. Say a prayer today asking God to forgive you for your judgement of others and your judgement of yourself. Ask him to reassure you that you are worthy of his love simply because you believe in his power and have a reverence for his goodness. After that prayer, do not allow anyone to tell you what God will not do for you. The truth is you are just as worthy as the next! #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

If you have not heard, being a man is not a you an easy task. The amount of responsibility, pressure, and resiliency needed is not for the faint at heart. As men traverse the daily rigors involved in negotiating the many pitfalls of our society, they all seek the same thing, peace. Men have been taught to be problem solvers, so their very nature is to be peacekeepers. Yes, a man will utilize physical strength and violence to achieve a purpose, but this is only after his peace or the safety of those he loves has been threatened. Men understand their God-given responsibilities, which are to provide and protect, and a good man will never abandon those principles. Using every resource they can, a man will create an environment of comfort for those he has committed his life to. These individuals benefit from his industrious and protective attributes. You will find that most men are not loquacious as they are instinctively listening and probing the environment for danger. The nature of a good man is always forward thinking and solution oriented. When faced with an issue whether personal or professional, he immediately generates a game plan to solve or resolve the discrepancy. Men are natural leaders and are autonomous or solitary. He would rather decipher his way through a conundrum than to be told the answer at the beginning of his journey. As skilled as a man is in the art of war and the use of power, he refuses to recycle conflicts. He will not remain in a sustained war and will not continually engage in a fight for territory. If forced to continually be in a state of conflict or tension, what results is a man that has appeared to have lost the voice in his household. This is the man that you have seen isolate himself in the corner of his household and takes no part in the decision-making or the daily operations of his family. This man was not always like this, but he has given in to a sustained war for position. His decisions have been questioned, his authority has been amputated, and his patience has been worn thin. Men are not emasculated in one broad stroke. No, the process starts with a consistent barrage of questioning his decisions, followed by ignoring his decisions, and finally by removing him from the decision-making process. This process causes him to feel more like a child than an equal partner. He will only engage in this fight for territory for so long before he starts to protect himself. Men strategically and naturally buffer themselves within a space of generated peace. Like a brick mason, he will slowly but surely block himself off from anything that disturbs his peace. If the household environment presents itself as a consistent place of conflict, he will build his own wall within that home while still providing and protecting. The man you now see has become isolated, sullen, stoic, and apathetic to things around him. He is behind his wall allowing scabs to form over his wounds caused by the methodical emasculation of his manhood. Once the wall is complete it is a daunting task to penetrate or encourage him to remove it. Peacefulness is where he feels safe and his isolation restores his control, even if that control is only over himself. #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine #behispeace

MINDSET RESET https://a.co/d/23RZ1rJ

We all have been raised with what can be called a moral compass. This is usually established by the rules set forth by our parents in their household. Subconsciously we adopted most if not all of their belief system and we carry it forth into adulthood, which is called multigenerational transference. Every adult has come to a point where they stop themselves and say "I sound just like my parents." This transfer of ideologies has just as many negative effects as positive effects. The dysfunction, prejudices, and manipulative nature of some households will only relay those ideas to generations that come after. We have all seen the postcards of lynchings with young white children smiling and posing for the photo. In fact, history shows that white children were taken out of school in order to view a lynching or a barbecue (signifying the burning of a black person) as if it was a circus or a special occasion. The same holds true for our creators of American democracy. History shows that our first three American presidents owned slaves. The one who owned the most slaves , upwards of 600, became one of the primary architects of the Bill of Rights, Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson who publicly spoke out against slavery lived a hypocritical lifestyle while impregnation a female slave Sally Hemings six times starting at the age of 14! Abraham Lincoln who became famous for freeing the slaves was ultimately concerned about the union rather than the abolishing of slavery: "My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the union without freeing any slaves I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would " Abraham Lincoln When looking at transgenerational transferrence how are we to feel when knowing that the individuals who wrote the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights did so with a supremist mindset that saw black people as less than human? Are we to believe that there was a sudden change of consciousness when it became time to write these extremely important documents? The real history, not HIS story depicts a country that has a multigenerational transference that involves dehumanization, colonization, and egregious abuse. When it is time to heal from our past misteps, the first step is admitting there was indeed a problem. This is why AA has individuals introduce themselves as alcoholics. This is the launching point toward recovery. How is this country suppose to heal if we continually run from the truth? Everytime a politician attempts to erase slavery by privatizing education and removing accounts from the history books we move further away from the beginning of healing. As long as we depict Thanksgiving as a dinner between differing cultures and hide the raping, killing, and pillaging of Native Americans we move further away from healing. As long as we ignore that the inception of many of our current agencies were built on a foundation of evil , such as the police department being former slave patrols or the HOA primarily being used to shut blacks out of certain neighborhoods we can't begin to heal. As sad as it may sound, we are not surprised by the sudden rise on antisemitic and Palestinian attacks because this country has been built on a lack of tolerance and the desire to harm and kill what is different. This is a "wake up" blog entry! Just as we walk, talk, and act like our parents and grandparents so do the people who were immersed in cultures of supremacy and hate. Our past is not that far behind us. Your job is to stay "woke" True knowledge serves to protect us from repeating our mistakes.

Sometimes we fail to appreciate the power of human influence. Studies have shown that infants and young children can read and react to facial expressions, voice tone, posture etc. Many times we disregard our actions around these younger beings but our behaviors are helping to shape their personalities and moral compasses. Before we can ever verbalize boundaries, rules, and expectations they have tapped into our system of behavioral reactions and expectations. This concept is consistent across all relationships in regard to the child. Older siblings, coaches, teachers, friends, family, and media input conjointly effects or shapes this future adult. The concept of social conformity has been proven to be a very powerful force in human decision making. Social conformity or peer pressure gives the brain the feeling of stability as it isthe brain's priority to seek comfort, synchronization, and safety. So, from a very early phase of development we are fighting forces in order to shape our children in the manner we desire. I wonder if we had previously considered all these factors if many of us would have conceived children so frivolously. Social conformity has become the norm. Authenticity has become such an outdated concept and much more difficult to uphold as the world seeks to be immersed in every trend and social media challenge. The positive aspect of social conformity is that if we weave ourselves into positive and progressive crowds then we will be influenced to be more progressive ourselves. It is just as important in adulthood to be open to shaping as it is during our early development. As adults we tend to get stagnant as we rage against the machine and take the stance that we aren't changing for anyone. This proves to be our biggest mistake and the true hindrance to our growth and success. With the many challenges of adulthood, perpetual learning and renewal seems absolutely necessary. In a world that is advancing at the speed of light, we will be left behind if we depend on our abbreviated knowledge. This knowledge usually comes as the result of social connections to other people. The military has shown us that we can run further and faster and do more with the help of a community mindset. Within any platoon there are people that are stronger than you which gives you a goal to strive toward. There are also those that are weaker who look to you as the motivator. However , the significant dynamic is the desire that everyone arrives at the same time. If we approach life in this manner we will discover that we are never finished learning. We can still be shaped. What we often do is operate in a silo mentality where we only socialize with those who accept us without challenging us. I dare say we hang around those we are equal or superior to, so we are always in the position to teach but never to learn. Those who accept us as we are often accept our poor decisions. Love does not mean you shouldn't tell me I'm fat or allow me to continually alter my body without atleast telling me I'm beautiful just as I am. If you love me as I am, do you truly love me? Love me enough to push me toward my potential unapologetically. Confront my laziness, my insensitivity, and my anger because you want to see me do better. Love me into the best version of myself. Authentic romantic relationships are integral in our continual shaping. Our partner sees our blind spots and can challenge us with love. The person who spends the most time with you can easily identify shortcomings and challenge you to change them. Are you ready to be shaped? Integrate yourself into crowds that are uncomfortable, places where you aren't the smartest or most successful person in the room Find a "truth teller." Befriend someone who will tell you that you are wrong. Give this person permission to give you critical feedback. Acquire knowledge that isn't assigned by your job or school. Seek material that challenges your view of yourself and your behaviors. Challenge yourself by learning something new. Embrace some form of spiritual guidance regularly. Whatever your beliefs are, find a resource to feed you in that area. Ask people about their journey to success. Sometimes people have traversed paths so we can follow in their footsteps. Listen more than you speak. You can learn something from everyone and a day should not go by without learning something new. Stop placing yourself into crowds that you know dumb you down. I'd rather be alone than amongst fools. Learn the power of "no." Remember, bad company corrupts good morals. Be open to being continually shaped and open to learning. #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine