Search Results

As we continue this journey of changing our mindset, I have to remind you that changing your mindset will involve changing your environment or your crowd. So, I want to pose the question,  who really has your back? In order to evaluate that,  we must first separate associates from true friends.  Associates are fun, they are always available for cocktails,  parties, cigars, and even wrongdoings. On the other hand, a friend is someone who persists in standing by your side when the party is over and the harshness of reality sets in. They are the individuals that will not only help you out of the hole but will dig a tunnel for you. There is a story in the Bible where a paraplegic was unable to get through a crowded house to be touched and healed. As the story progresses, his friends carried the man and his pallet onto the roof, tore the roof open, and lowered the man to the feet of Jesus to be healed. Notice that the friends did not jump in themselves because they were totally enmeshed with the needs of their friend. They displayed true selflessness. These pallet carriers are the bar we should set our friendships by. Are they willing to sacrifice so you can be healed? Are they willing to traverse obstacles to help you reach your destiny? Can they recognize your needs and act on the solutions? If the answer is "no" to any of those questions,  you are surrounded by associates.  An associate will "sympathize " with you,  meaning for a moment they will feel sorry for you.  A true friend is empathic which means they choose to feel your pain, share your pain, and seek to take it away. When you can finally identify true friends, you will surround yourself with them because they become copilots in your journey to reach your goal. A friend will work out and eat healthier with you while an associate will order pizza and wings and offer you some while you struggle. It may be a controversial statement but associates are ushers to your relapse, they will happily get into the mud with you because if you are both dirty you are now on even plains. True friends or pallet carriers carry you toward your goals even by using their own strength where yours have failed. When is the last time you were isolated and the phone rang and the voice on the other side said " I'm just checking on you to make sure you are ok" That is a true friend. The distance didn't offend them, it concerned them. If you can call one person a lifetime friend you are lucky,  if you can count two, you are blessed. So, today I challenge you to evaluate who you are surrounded by. Are they carrying your palette or are they just hitching a ride? #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

I recently had the opportunity to watch an authentic bullfight. A bullfight usually involves a Spanish Fighting Bull (Toro Bravo) weighing between 1,000 and 1,300 pounds. The objective is for the matador to subdue and/or kill the bull to the delight of the cheering crowd. What may not be common knowledge is that the matador is assisted by as many as six assistants, three banderilleros, and two picadors (on horseback). This choreographed band of assassins utilizes swords and razor-sharp knives to weaken the bull through blood loss. The matador continues to entice the bull with a red cape (muleta) and with each passing the bull grows increasingly irritated and exhausted. The exhausted and blood-soaked bull is eventually "mercifully " put out of its misery with a final sword strike between the shoulder blades aimed at severing the spinal cord and producing instant death. There are several ironies and lessons to learn from a bullfight. - The bull is colorblind and is simply angered by the movement of the cape - The bull continues to charge while incurring pain and punishment - The bull charges past the person (several times) who is actually harming him because of his focus on the cape - The bull's aggression is actually the cause of its own demise - Bulls are bred in isolation so the aggression displayed is a (fight or flight) reaction to an unfamiliar and chaotic environment The bull's instinct is for him to display dominance by force which is acceptable behavior in the bovine world. But how many of us have fallen prey to acting out of instinct and aggression rather than reasoning? “When we are in unfamiliar situations or affected by uncomfortable emotions, we lose our ability to make rational decisions.” Our emotions cause us to attempt to bulldoze the situation with brute force. In our emotionally charged state, we continue to make the same horrible decisions while expecting a different outcome. Eventually, we are exhausted, battered, and beaten because of our own instinctual decisions. Many times we pass right by or are unable to recognize the antecedent to our problems because we are focused on the distraction of the waving cape or the jeering crowd around us. If someone has studied our weaknesses, distractibility, and lack of emotional intelligence they can easily make us a participant in their production just like the matador. Most bovine experts will tell you that a bull is serene while alone and becomes aggressive around other cattle. This leads us to another lesson, "we have to be careful that we are not isolated from relationships that make us human as well as humane." “Displays of unbridled aggression and dysregulated emotions usually stem from a place of discomfort and inadequacy.” Finally, we have to stop charging headfirst toward things and people who seek to harm us. If the bull stops charging the show is over. If you want different results, you simply have to show different actions. #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

Many times, we underestimate this amazing piece of human machinery we possess, which is the human brain. When discussing the prefrontal cortex, we find our executive functioning center. This area can recall certain environmental factors or incidents and therefore assist us in making rational decisions. However, it is also the prefrontal cortex that is most sensitive and susceptible to the detrimental effects of stress exposure. Even quite mild acute uncontrollable stress can cause a rapid and dramatic loss of prefrontal cognitive abilities, and more prolonged stress exposure causes architectural changes in prefrontal abilities. This means that the prefrontal cortex or our sketch pad has created a list of stress-causing activities that cripple our ability to make new decisions and to actualize new reward goals. In other words, when stressed we eventually lose the ability to regulate our external actions. Adversely, positive thinking or maintaining a positive perspective decreases cortisol levels and decreases the chances of uninhibited actions and depression. So yes, the glass is half full! Positive thinking increases creative thought, increases attention span, and improves the ability to analyze and solve problems. Many of us are unable to savor the present moment while instead becoming a prisoner of the "what ifs" The one thing we all can agree on is that we have no control over what happens next. I don't care about odds and probability; you and I have no clue what will happen in the next minute. So changing perspective is key which involves changing the mindset or reshaping your prefrontal cortex. This is done in 4 steps FEET. 1. Focus on what you have instead of what you want. Sometimes you just have to take inventory to show yourself how far you have come. 2. Envy will trigger thoughts of missed goals and move toward depression. Stop looking at the lives of others because you don’t ever know the true story. 3. Environment- Negative people with negative thoughts and negative perspectives will affect you. Surround yourself with people that are happy to have each breath 4. Thankfulness for the small blessings or accomplishments. You can focus on the cost of brakes or focus on the fact that you actually have a car. You can complain about relationships or be grateful for the positives found in human closeness. The extended detriments of stress move beyond the brain and eventually causes dysregulation of many bodily systems. Lack of "ease" becomes "disease ". The results of positive thought has a list of endless benefits. Which will you choose today? Which will you choose daily? #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine #transformationalchangeservices

I heard something simple but profound the other day, it was said that the gym gives you the exact return for what you put into it. In other words you get 100% return for your efforts, nothing more and nothing less. Ultimately we realize that life is often unfair in that regard. Those who give so much of themselves are only asked to give more while receiving a minimal percentage of repayment. The excessive giving of one person not only spoils the receiver but creates an intensified hunger for more. Something we can all depend on is the energy you put into the atmosphere will ultimately be reciprocated. Your negative energy, complaints, selfishness, and negativity will eventually get returned. Your negative energy sets a negative atmosphere and ultimately a negative environment. Think twice next time before you criticize first and compliment last, before you focus on what has not happened instead of the strides that have happened, before you suck the energy out of a situation because your own selfishness has not been satisfied, and before you see the glass half empty instead of half full. Today be determined in releasing positive vibes so you can get a positive return or you just may see a reduction in people who choose to be around you. #bethesunshine

I think we all have to come to the realization that our mind has been conditioned to satiate our desires or do what it thinks we want it to do. Therefore, it will always drive us towards what is pleasurable or away from pain and struggle. Also, it will always place us in places of comfort and familiarity. Most importantly, our mind believes whatever we say about ourselves. If you desire to destroy old habits and ascend to greater accomplishments, you have to traverse unfamiliar territory and unfamiliar crowds while pushing yourself through tough obstacles. The constant desire for comfort or pleasure will ensure you remain stagnate. Remember, "if you think you can't, you won't " #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

"Excuses make today easier but tomorrow harder ; discipline makes today harder but tomorrow easier" This simple statement separates success and mediocrity. Choose what you want to be. Get up and get it done! #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

I often remind you to find ways to enjoy the journey, enjoy the pain and difficulty on the road to your goal. I stand as an example that if you remain consistent and committed, one day you will look up and see your goal right in front of you. Many of us sit and count the outrageous amount of steps involved in our goal and thats when disparagement sets in. What can you do today to move closer? How can you find joy and motivation in that one step. Remember you eat an elephant one piece at a time. It is time for you to STOP letting the unknown take over your present situation. Some of us think so far into the future and have the nerve to predict it and will react to it in our present situation. No one knows what tomorrow holds or even if tomorrow will come. Live your today, live your right now. Commit to daily steps amd learn to complete them with a immovable consistency. Remember, anything that possesses longevity will eventually derail. Think about it, trains, relationships, friendships, jobs, etc. will eventually reach a point where they are bumped off track. If you know thats going to happen, be prepared for it and do all you can to remove the hindrance and get the train back rolling. I know you have quit many times, but as long as you restart you can get there. I have reached one goal and Im on to another. You can do it too. Commitment, habits, rituals, and consistency is the only way. Start again! #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

Good morning, have you ever really given thought to what you expose yourself to? Energy is transferable as is attitudes and mindset. Many believe that humans can experience the negative feelings of those close to them, therefore adopting that same negativity. These empathic people tend to be overburdened by the problems of others. There are three things you must avoid to not be consumed by negativity. The first is, of course, negative people. People who always look at the glass as half empty tend to have an overall negative outlook towards everything. Individuals like this will make their mole hills into mountains and drag you along. Many times we have no idea we have been affected until we are emotionally and physically drained. The second thing to avoid is negative environments. These environments can be emotionally or physically in a negative state. An office filled with disgruntled workers will eventually rub off on to you. Some environments hold negative memories because of past trauma. You must avoid these places at all cost. Disorganized and cluttered environments have been proven to increase stress levels and cause sleep issues. The mind takes a snapshot of the disorder and perseverates on it causing uneasiness and emotional disruption. Finally, we must avoid negative self talk. Whatever you verbalize, you manifest. If you say you can't, you won't. If you affirm that the day will be horrible rest assured that events will fall into place to satisfy your premonition. People who engage in negative self talk are more susceptible to colds, depression, and heart issues. Positive people actually have better cardiovascular health and live longer. Before you set out today check yourself and your energy first. Then ensure you are heading towards positive people in a positive environment. The choice is really yours. Have a great positive day! #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

Good morning, I know it's been awhile, but I have a question for you. What is motivating you? Did you know that most of us are motivated by trauma? The past trauma in our life propels us to be extremely diligent in not having that unpleasant act repeated. Fractured parental relationships drive us to be better parents, abusive marriages drive us to be better spouses, and our past lives of consent cause us to hold ourselves in higher regard. However, if our trauma is motivating us, have we truly healed from it? I It is not until our decisions and motivations are spurred by what's inside of us that we have truly arrived. Unhealed trauma creates the need for attention and attention is addictive. We now have to show everyone that we have arrived, that we are no longer that past person, and that in spite of their trauma and name calling we have excelled. So we become so hell bent on presenting a pristine external image while we are suffering internally. With attention comes pressure. You will find that it is much harder to preserve a lie than it is to tell one. Now you must remember the lie and create other lies to support it. Being motivated by the pressure of the opinions of others is the very thing that leads to depression and suicide. Humans can be very fickle, and the person who was once in your corner can quickly switch teams or may have never been on your team at all . Your goals HAVE TO motivate you . Your desire to be better, fitter, wealthier, and more stable has to come from inside. Not from a negative stimulus caused by fear of trauma or the approval of others, but for your own satiation and self-worth. So, set your goals, outline the steps needed to acquire them, and immediately start pressing towards it. The satisfaction that comes from self-motivation is so much more edifying. #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

Have you ever stopped for a moment and thought about the journey that successful people traveled in order to reach their goals? People may have told them they were crazy or the goal was unattainable, but they remained steadfast in what they believed. If Elon Musk had listened to people when they told him he could not create an electric car, we would have fallen behind in the perpetual innovation race. It is evident that these people listened to their own self-talk. The voice inside them that affirmed they could have it or they will do it. The Bible says life and death are in the power of the tongue. I think many times we gloss over the power of that verse. It says we have the power to manifest things with our words. This spiritual anomaly was supported through science as a neuroscientist devised an experiment about optimism and positive thought. The study inundated the participant with positive and affirming thoughts about their abilities, creating an expectation of success. When their brains were imaged it showed increased activity in the prefrontal cortex (a region responsible for self-reflection and recollection). The experiment showed that when our brains expect good results our actions align to bring those results to fruition. "You are either talking and thinking yourself into or out of what you want" Too often we focus on the negative or what may not happen and we fail to understand that we are in control of the success. Many of us do not realize how pessimistic we are until we are shown our blindspots. The person that will move past us is the one that says "I'm going to be this, no matter what." That's when the body starts to move toward focusing on it happening. So why can't you have that job? Why can't you have that man? Why can't you have that house? The answer is YOU! Once you realize the power in your positive thoughts and your affirmations, you spend less time hanging out in the basement of pessimism and start focusing on "making your dream happen" The experiment also showed that people who were primed on optimism paid less attention to mistakes and setbacks. These missteps had no effect on them seeking their goal. Speak it and go get it!!! Make it happen!!! #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine

Good Morning 3M, With all of us amid the holiday season, we are likely to encounter family, friends, and enemies. Old acquaintances inevitably will remind you of some of your old mistakes. Mistakes you have long forgotten and grown from, but people love to put you in a box and keep you there because it always helps them maintain a sense of superiority. You are the person who divorced or had children out of wedlock or dropped out of college or destroyed your credit etc. etc. It is the unearthing and proclamation of your continual mistakes and imperfections that enables others to hide theirs and appear more perfect. This is a societal illness that traverses families as well as the church. This is why so many people never feel quite perfect or good enough. The Apostle Paul, who was a pardoned murderer, often spoke about his battle with being human. To paraphrase he said "every time I wish to do right, wrong is right there" and "the things I ought to do. I do not do but rather choose the wrong thing because of the evil that dwells in me." Paul asked God to take this dilemma away and God's response was "My grace is sufficient." In other words, perfection is not expected of you. On the contrary, you are expected to make mistakes, and you can still expect God's forgiveness. So why do we continually ostracize those that live differently from us? Why do many of us cloak our imperfections while making others feel inadequate for not reaching our level of perfection? This holiday season is the time to start practicing true forgiveness and acceptance. However, this forgiveness and acceptance must start with ourselves. Forgive yourself for the things you have done wrong and accept that you are still a worthy individual. You may have to climb out of the very box people have put you in. but you must do it. Many of us have not realized that the opinion of others has been verbalized to us so repetitively that we actually have accepted it as true. His Grace is sufficient Be kind to yourself #changedmindschangelives #bethesunshine