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As we head towards our weekend, I want to save you a load of frustration. Stop expecting “You” in other people. What do I mean by that? Well, even with all of our flaws and shortcomings that we are undoubtedly aware of, we think we are pretty amazing. The way we handle business, the way we organize, the way we engage our friends, etc. We feel very comfortable in our actions and routines. We get frustrated when we expect others to act similarly or precisely as we would. Many times, we have an internal dialogue about the actions of other people that sounds like, “I would have done it this way,” “Why didn’t they do it like this,” “Why are they not prepared,” and the list goes on and on. Now, it’s okay to secretly criticize if it’s not causing frustration in you, but if you are internalizing the “whys,” you have to learn to step back and stop expecting to see “you” in other people. Sometimes you just have to step back and say, “Not my monkey, not my circus,” and sip your drink. Admittedly this is quite difficult based on your closeness with the person or how their actions directly affect you. Suppose you are a prompt person, and the person you love is always setting their exit based on a GPS (that doesn’t account for accidents, traffic, and construction). In that case, it becomes challenging to not wish they were more like you. We end up riding their roller coaster with them because of our connection. Also, if you greatly value your time, and a Teams Meeting is fruitless, and you start to think of all the work you could be accomplishing, it’s hard not to get frustrated. I must be honest; I haven’t mastered any of this 😊I am befuddled when someone is late or unprepared. I feel like the world should be on time, prepared, and accountable. I feel like everyone hates being a part of group text messages! But I am mature enough to know that’s not reality, so as simple as it sounds, I’m learning to stop expecting “me” in other people because, quite simply, “it’s not my monkey, not my circus.” Enjoy your weekend! #changedmindschangelives #notmymonkeynotmycircus

(Victims’ Memorial at Tops Friendly Markets, Buffalo, NY) Good Morning 3M, After returning to my hometown of Buffalo this past week, I had a barrage of thoughts. With that in mind, I will share a couple of times this week. First, I felt an urge to talk about how we should make sure we appreciate and love our family and friends while we still can. I am the youngest in my family, which means that as I age, so do my Mom and my siblings. I am constantly reminded of our mortality just by watching the news, but it hit home when a dear friend lost her mother unexpectedly this past week. Although this individual did all she could to love and honor her mother while she was still alive, nothing could prepare her for the reality of being without her. Can you imagine the pain’s intensity if there were unresolved issues, strife, or inadequate communication? If you have not noticed, life is very fragile, and our loved ones can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. “For what is your life? For you are a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away.” (James 4:14). However, inevitably, at every funeral, we hear the same thing “we have to do a better job of getting together; life is so short.” What is also inevitable is that we never take heed to that statement. We too often claim to be so busy or entangled in our issues that we do not have the time to check on people. Our family was not our choice, but it is our blessing. It is hard to find three people you know who would do anything for you in our current society. Our family may not be perfect, but they have unconditional love for us. We are all guilty. Some of us will not reach out because our family does not reach out to us. Others have grown apart because of distance, unforgiveness, or endless other excuses. It does not take much effort to text or call someone to let them know you were thinking about them and wanted to ensure they were healthy and happy. The same holds for our lifelong friends. We should never expect someone to assume we love and care about them because of our history. It is always a good reminder to hear the words. On Father’s Day, I text chatted with three men I respect dearly. We promised to do lunch soon. It is now July, and none of us have sent the invitation. Today I am going to reach out. I will take the first step. I will also make it a point to contact my siblings weekly. I need them to know I care and do not want any regrets when they are called home. The families of the victims of the shootings at Tops Friendly Markets would do anything for another phone call or one more lunch with their loved ones. My friend would love to hear her Mom’s voice. I challenge you to keep family and friends close. Let someone know you care about them today and regularly afterward. Start now! Life is truly a vapor, and time is something we can never reclaim. #prayingforloves #reclaimyourtime #changedmindschangelives #sunshine

Good morning 3M SCAR TISSUE Scars usually appear after some form of trauma to the body—the body scars as a part of the body’s healing process. The body sends collagen fibers to the site of the injury as a method to heal the wound. Scars can take an extended amount of time to disappear, while some never disappear at all. The external scars are easily noticeable, but internal scarring is cloaked. The inner scar tissue is usually the result of the most traumatic injuries to the body. Individuals who have had surgeries will develop internal scar tissue that can cause long-term issues, especially if the body requires more surgical procedures. Trauma to a person’s emotional health can have progressive repercussions causing compounded emotional damage, and emotional scars are always obscure. The same holds true for emotional scarring; extended healing time is needed, while some never repair. This is not intended to be a medical post but is designed to be a reminder that you never know what a person has endured before they encounter you. The stressors in our current society are evident, and many people are in a fragile state. So, how will you impact someone’s life today? Your encounter with your barista, customer, or customer service representative can sometimes make or break that person. The way you treat others can be the bright spot or encouragement they need to stay alive or hold on for another day. In a world where we are now terrified to shake hands and give hugs, a smile, and a kind compliment can go a long way. So, I challenge you today to be kind, smile, say “thank you,” and be encouraging to someone. You may be part of the healing process, or you can be the cause of more scars. #changedmindschangelives #transformationalchange #sunshine

Good Morning 3M! As I was driving into work today, I was thinking that we actually do command our day by commanding our thinking. Time Magazine has an entire issue dedicated to the power of positive thought. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) believes that how a person perceives a situation will determine their feelings and emotions. In other words, if you believe it’s going to be a bad day, your body will start to experience negative emotions such as anxiety and sadness. “As a man thinks in their heart so is he.” In contrast, positive thinkers are more successful, more productive, have better focus, and make better use of your time. And to be honest they are probably just more fun to be around. I am very conscious to be thankful for things on a daily basis. I am thankful that those that I love are still alive and healthy, thankful for the sunshine, and thankful for a mind that is relatively sound 😊 So how are you commanding your day? Do you start your day worrying about the bills and what you have to do at work? Or do you start the day just being thankful? I would never disavow the fact that being a “grown up” in today’s society is challenging, we can talk forever about gas and grocery prices, but what good does that do? I challenge you to start your day with 10 affirmations. If you find this difficult it may indicate that your way of thinking needs to change. The affirmations don’t have to be big; they just need to be positive. I am challenging you to truly command your day. When I say “make it a great day” I want you to make it a great day! Remember “changed minds change lives”. #commandyourday #MelangeMiscellanyMismash #transformationalchange

Matthew 25: 1-13 A CEO of a famous Fortune 500 Company decided to have a team meeting at his home. The invitation was sent as a meeting invite, but the location was off-site (at his home). The executives he had charge over had no idea what to expect. While some thought it was team-building, others thought it was a barbecue. The time for the meeting was scheduled from 9 a.m. – 11 a.m. on the day of the meeting, as employees arrived, they were surprised to see the CEO answering the door in his normal suit and tie. The CEO greeted each employee at the door and escorted them to his conference room. He started the meeting promptly at 9 a.m. The employees noticed that everyone wasn’t present, and they didn’t hear the doorbell ring after the meeting started. Unknown to them the CEO had hung a sign on the door entitled “The Value of Time”, the note proceeded to tell them that they would receive disciplinary action for missing a scheduled meeting and they were to report to the office. During the meeting, the CEO gave merit bonuses to the individuals that showed up on time, dressed appropriately, and were prepared for the meeting. Some employees that made it on time were still sent home because they were not dressed professionally or did not bring laptops to participate in the meeting. They received disciplinary action as well. In the parable of the bridegroom, we see five virgins who were unprepared for their appointment. The interesting thing about the parable is there were five virgins who were prepared, but they did not use them as an example. They went along with the crowd that missed their appointment and the bible refers to them as foolish. The five non-foolish virgins did not know the time of their opportunity, but they used the time to prepare for when that day would come. Obviously, time spent preparing is time well spent. Most times, if we were to look at our life from a bird’s eye view, we would realize we do not use time effectively or prepare properly. We have not valued our own time, so it is only natural to not value the time of others. 1. Can you remember a situation where your lack of preparation caused you to miss an opportunity? Can you remember a time when your tardiness caused you to miss opportunities or benefits? 2. The five virgins were most likely friends or associated with each other. Do you remember a time when you surrounded yourself with a crowd that did not motivate you to do better? How did that affect aspects of your success? 3. Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg were afforded the same amount of time as us depending on our age. What could you have done differently with your time to be as successful as they are? 4. Make a list of 3 things that affect your preparation or punctuality and what you can do to improve them 5. What will you do with the time you have now, so you are prepared when the opportunity shows up?

This may sound like an asinine question, but the truth is many of us have and continue to mismanage our time and as a result, have impeded our chances at success. Just stop and think for a moment, how many times you have said "I would love to do that but I just don't have the time." This statement is usually followed by a barrage of excuses that we call explanations. The contradiction is we always find time for recreation or relaxation. This explanation is usually preceded by statements like "I work hard and I deserve some time to just do nothing" I will never discount the need for the appropriate amount of rest or self-care; They are essential to our physical and mental health. However, we have taken it to the extreme. We find time to binge-watch, scroll on social media, meet friends for meals, and simply kick our feet up and watch our favorite shows. Why don't we have time to write our business plans, pursue our degrees, enhance our computer skills, balance our checkbooks, raise our credit scores, or exercise? The answer to that question is one of the biggest factors that separate successful versus non-successful people, sacrifice. The things that ensure success take a sacrifice of our time and our comfort. The things that keep us in a state of mediocrity don't require any sacrifice whatsoever. Everyone who knows me, knows I am a stickler for time. I value my time, so I get extremely annoyed when it isn't valued by others. You show me that you value my time by, being on time, using my time wisely, and not overburdening my time. Success requires a sacrifice of your time. Success requires you to redirect your time. Success requires you to reprioritize your time. I'd be willing to bet my 401K that the richest people in the world have not binged-watched many shows, have not taken many naps, and most certainly, have not stopped learning. Success is a moving target that will not get hit by a sedentary shooter. Also, if the target is moving, only those who are present and prepared to fire have a chance of hitting it (there goes that time thing again). We must always be in a state of learning, planning, and preparing. So how can we start having time for success? THE EIGHT Rs OF SUCCESS Review: Take a time diary for one week showing everything you were doing in one-hour intervals. Record: At the end of the week categorize how much time was spent on vocation, family/household responsibilities, self-enhancement, and recreation (even after eight hours of work, many will realize they have spent an excessive amount of time on recreation and a minimal amount of time on self-enhancing activities). Reprioritize: List what is most important to you in descending order (if Netflix is high on your priority list then you may as well stop reading now). Reappropriate: Spend the abundance of your time on your most important tasks. Reduce: Decrease time spent on tasks that are not fruitful e.g, social media, binge-watching, excessive television viewing, napping. Rebuild: Create an hourly task list and stick to it (the list should schedule everything, even recreation). Re-establish: Set boundaries to ensure those around you respect the times you have set aside for your tasks (kids can learn a lot from parents who are task-oriented). Reward: Be kind to yourself after completing your daily list (hard work pays off and you should provide your mind with the muscle memory to avoid shutting down before you have completed what you set out to do).